08.14Why I’m Not Blogging
First, I never intended to disappear like this. It started weeks ago when I suddenly got a couple of big, paying jobs one after the other. As an on-call technical editor, I can’t predict or control when that happens, and when it does it trumps blogging and everything else. Still, I have often managed to squeeze some blog posts in while working, but this time I didn’t try. And I realized that no catastrophe occurred, and my obsession about having to blog began to ease and it felt good.
Last weekend we saw Julie and Julia (tip: don’t go on an empty stomach), a movie about how the real-life Julie Powell blogged her experience of making all the recipes in Julia Child’s famous cookbook. About the middle of the movie, Julie and her husband have a big fight about how obsessive Julie has become about her blog and the expectations of faceless, nameless, invisible, and possibly non-existent readers. Everything there rang a bell with me. Of course in the movie, Julie’s blog turns out to have thousands of readers, and she becomes somewhat famous. That’s where all parallels to my blog stop. The Christian Science Monitor is not calling me for an interview. Speed of Dark’s best traffic now is less than a third of what it was at our peak, when Indie Mom was still blogging. She hit this same point herself about 18 months ago and stopped writing.
Which leads to the question, in the grand scheme of things, how important is this? I never expected riches and fame, but I justified the time I spent by saying it was fulfilling to me even if not very many people visited. But is it really all that productive?
I find that this blog has replaced many other things I used to do that also provided fulfillment, and I see that my life is completely out of balance. Far too many days, all I have done is sit at the computer and do blog-related things. As I write now, I am listening to the wonderful History of Brit Pop posts at Mars Needs Guitars. A post like that takes a lot of time, and I’m a perfectionist. And for me, it isn’t only the time taken to write the blog, upload the songs, find and upload a photo, and add a hundred links; it’s how the whole process encourages me to be on the computer all day. I can’t keep living that way.
I need to get the balance back in my life where I can be productive again at other things besides blogging. Exercise can no longer be an option that gets pushed off the list; it must be a daily necessity. I have papers and messes to organize and piles of things to give away or throw away. I have carpets that need shampooing and rooms that need painting. I want to sew again. I want to fix things and make things. The way I blog, I do none of that.
As of today, the balance is all the way over in the opposite direction where I am not blogging at all, but I am getting other things done. I still have a serious Internet addiction to break. But four weeks ago I started hiking for an hour very early in the morning four or five times a week. I have two craft projects in motion. I have ordered fabric for home decorating projects. I have never been the Martha Stewart type, but the house is staying cleaner and neater. Some of the piles are getting lower. Still to do this week, I have to remove the tattered headliner from the interior of my car and replace the fabric and sunvisors. I have all the materials; I just need to start and finish it this weekend. I am scared of it, but I have done harder things than this.
If I can manage to blog in a way that does not take away my ability to have other projects and allows me to take care of my health, then I will blog again. It probably will not be anywhere near as much as I used to and with fewer links. Hopefully I can come up with something that works.
I thank Merz at Mars Needs Guitars, Matthew at Song By Toad, and Vic at Muruch for their timely words of encouragement. Comments from readers now would be much appreciated too.
Here are some appropriate tunes, Gramma-style.
Young Galaxy - No Matter How Hard You Try from Young Galaxy (2007)
MySpace | Buy
Monahans - It's Enough to Leave You from Dim the Aurora (2009)
MySpace | Buy
Rademacher - It Really Shouldn't Matter from Heart Machine EP (2006)
MySpace | Buy
Photo: Umbrellas for sale in Renmin (People’s) Park, Chengdu, China.
- alt-gramma (371)
- indie.mom (395)
- Uncle T (7)
I wondered what was going on, Linda. I often check in here and noticed the sporadic posting (I’ve had some of that lately as well). Your reasons make total sense to me, though. I’ve been trying to find a way to post more efficiently myself, so I can maximize my time OFF the computer. It’s easy in this day and age to live on here, but like you said I agree that can’t be healthy. I hope to see you continue blogging in some form, if only for selfish reasons!
August 14th, 2009 at 7:19 am
Er, there’s some questionable sentences in there, but I cry ‘too early’ as an excuse!
August 14th, 2009 at 7:20 am
Thanks, Sean, right now it really hopes to get a little encouragement. I have not run out of things to write about, and I don’t really want to quit. I have tickets to a couple of concerts that I am really excited about, and I know I will want to take photos and write about them.
August 14th, 2009 at 8:32 am
Linda-
To be honest I never have known how people who post daily, or in any case very frequently, have been able to do that without either burning out, neglecting their offline lives, or both. At Fingertips I set it up from the start as pretty much of a once-a-week posting schedule. Maybe I’m partially fooling myself, but I always saw it as a service to my readers, as well as myself– I mean, who really has time to read that many daily blogs, never mind listen to all the music they post? I know I’ve gotten intermittently some good feedback from people who actually appreciate that I only post three songs, once a week.
So do you think it could be possible to give yourself a new schedule, whether it’s once a week, or once every two weeks? That way you still have a deadline to tend to, and the motivation it provides, but the blog can be dialed back in terms of space it takes in your life.
In any case, I completely understand where you’re coming from and wish you well however you choose to proceed from here..
-js
August 14th, 2009 at 10:26 am
Mr. Fingertips —
I was actually thinking of your model as an example that might work for me. Maybe I could write two posts a week–whenever the time or the urge is present–and post them on Saturdays and Sundays only. That way I could be regular and dependable, which are important features for keeping readers and which I have not really been able to do when trying to write 5 posts a week. Thanks for the support.
August 14th, 2009 at 11:42 am
Linda,
You’re killing me here. I finally get over and you’re talking about stopping. By the way all, I was one of the ones that did extreme drunk cross country phone dialing to her last January. I will be competing in the 2012 Olympics in this event. Back to Linda. You expose us to new music that I normally wouldn’t hear. And you get some great pictures. At least do it once in a while.
Don
August 14th, 2009 at 3:07 pm
well, linda, i think you and i struggle with some of the same issues when it comes to the blog! i just got back from my vacation and only wrote one post while i was gone (on real paper, imagine that) and i don’t have any more up my sleeve at the moment.
the thing is, it felt pretty good to be disconnected from the internets. i’m sure my traffic went down (haven’t even checked, to be honest) but then again, i don’t really care that much about it at this point.
i’ve decided only to write when i have something to say, which is not exactly a predictable way to do it, but it’s all i can manage at the moment.
i can’t say i’ll be getting any more domestic, however! good luck with those sewing projects!
August 15th, 2009 at 6:11 pm
Hi Linda,
I’m in much the same predicament as you and others here, time is not a luxury I’ve had for my blog lately either. Workload has increased enough that I’m lucky if I can do one or two nights a week of posting and since I’m propably like you and get so much music sent, I feel somewhat guilty that I either can’t get to it in a timely manner or not at all. When something you would escape to begins to feel like something you need to escape from, it is time to rethink where it lies in the grand scheme of things and you have obviously begun to do that. Your blog was one of the first blogs I found and linked to, you do terrific work contributing all you do to it and whether you post daily, weekly or monthly people will still visit. Best of luck in whatever you decide to do.
August 15th, 2009 at 7:08 pm
Hey, Marcy and Chris —
I know this is familiar ground for bloggers! Everybody who has commented here except for my friend Don is a blogger! LOL
I feel guilty too for not reviewing every dang mp3 and album that gets sent to me, not to mention a kind of panic in my own mind that maybe one of them is the Next Big Thing, for myself if not for the entire music world. I must have over a thousand unread e-mails right now. There is just no way.
I am thinking maybe that if I can write two posts anytime during the week, I can publish them on the weekends. We went to the movies tonight and I am still working on my car tomorrow, so no posts are ready this weekend.
L.
August 15th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Hi Linda - yet another comment from a fellow blogger!
I understand your feelings of obligation towards your blog. I don’t feel guilty about not posting things that are emailed to me (there’s so much of it, and a lot of it’s not my taste anyway) but I do feel guilty when there’s a new band I’ve come across or an album that I love and I can’t find the words or the time to write about it properly.
I spend way too much time on the net too, and I’m trying to cut back and be a bit more active. I’ve been running every couple of nights after school and I’ve been trying to post every couple of days rather than feeling the need to post every day. I think it’s good that you’ve come up with a workable schedule.
I’d like to echo Chris here - and I’ve said this to you before - that this blog was one of the first I ever read and I’ll always stop by to see what you’re listening to and what you’re up to, whenever you feel able to post.
Take care
Agnes
August 16th, 2009 at 1:31 am
if it makes you feel any better, i have 934 unread emails at the moment. they really pile up!
i’ve kind of decided only to read the ones that come directly from bands themselves. all those pr company emails are too much to keep up with, plus every other blog in the blogosphere is receiving them too, so someone will mention those bands.
coz i know what you mean about the feeling that you’re going to missing out on something wonderful. perish the thought!
August 16th, 2009 at 10:53 am
Linda,
I definitely hear you on this and it sounds right for you to take a break. Even though I miss your posts, I completely understand. Personally, I have no life these days other than sleeping or blogging. I really should be spending more time exercising or working on another hobby. But, I do love blogging, it takes my mind of myself. Which is what I need right now.
I took a year and a half break from blogging - 2nd half of ‘07 and all of ‘08. The reason though was that I was suffering too much with depression and was very ill (still am). I am trying to get better every day. And taking it one day at a time.
I will visit here everyday like usual with the hopes of seeing you back on the blog. Maybe, you can put a post or two up a week and that’s it for awhile? That way, you can still be into the music but not drop the other things you need to do. But, whatever you decide, I’m sure will be the right thing.
Also, thanks for the linkage in this post and for the friendship over the past few years. I don’t want to lose that, so please stay in touch and I will too.
All the Best,
David
<3
August 17th, 2009 at 7:32 pm
Linda, I’m riding in the same boat!
Last year, when my father was very ill (before he passed), I began to reevaluate the whole blog maintenance thing. When the DCMA take-downs began, I saw that as another reason to blog less. And the final nail for me was when some other blogger, in reaction to some comment I made about Michael Jackson (it wasn’t meant to be mean, only honest), said she “hardly reads my blog anymore anyway.” (Did that hurt my feelings? Naaah. She’s a big whiner anyway!) Nobody really reads it these days, so why do I hang on?
It’s still up for now, but I think I’ll scrap it. Do I leave it hanging for posterity? Who knows.
All I know is that I’ve been walking fiercely since March, trying to get my metabolism back in line, and doing lots of other things, too. I still spend too much time on Facebook, though! haha.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do. I’ll keep visiting. I hope you’ll still contribute to the CP!
August 18th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Well, we all do what we have to in order make the most of what is important for us at various times in our lives. Sometimes life gets in the way of itself and priorities change or get put in proper order, it is something that can be easy and hard and different for each person. Afterall, it is just the internet afterall…
Regardless, we need more SOD, so all I can say is I hope this hiccup is just that, a momentary blip in the life of a great blog.
August 19th, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Well, I’ve thought about this for a week or so now… not wanting to put my foot in too far as I’ve not been a regular reader here (but a definite supporter of you and your writing!!).
I started blogging because I truly was a bit scared to venture out, had got cooped up and kinda liked the insularity. Now my blog has kinda pushed me out, kicking and screaming! And that ’s because I’ve made it more localized, with an intention to cover local music and unsigned bands here. I’m “forced” to “come out” of my Tart persona and actually meet people and give them my real name and sometimes phone number.
Without that, I doubt I could keep up the blogging. I do read the PR emails (filtering out loads of em) because often they’re coming to Chicago and I wanna help get the word out - honestly, our gigs are really not highly attended for the size of our city! At least for many of the small bands/groups.
I know you have spent considerable time in your local music scene. I don’t mean to come off as lecturing. I’m only saying that it is the real reason I keep going. And I’d love to keep hearing about what’s going on by you!
In the end, “real” life takes precedence because it has to. What kind of people would we be if we turned down invitations, didn’t go out to dinner with friends, didn’t spend time with our loved ones, all because we needed to blog. Ugh.
I’m glad people here are talking about it. I’m so very glad you gave an explanation and a space to have this conversation. And oh man, do I understand the fatigue of it all. A break is a good thing. I’ve considered one myself for a few months from now. I know you will come up with something that works! Let us know how that is, I need some direction there, I’ll admit! xoxox
August 20th, 2009 at 1:22 pm
I am so moved by all the comments and the support. It has really made a difference in my attitude. Also, as Tart says, this is my little place to talk about things and have these conversations, and I like that.
PS - I have a blog post tomorrow.
Hopefully more will follow, just not at my former speed and volume.
I love all you guys, seriously. Thanks.
L.
August 20th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
Linda, I just had to add that I love your blog. I am terrible about leaving comments because of time. That makes me appreciate all the more the huge time commitment you put in to make Speed Of Dark such a fantastic blog. I’m always learning something and enjoy your style of writing. Maybe you have to include some recipes.
August 24th, 2009 at 1:06 pm
Linda,
Just as several other readers have mentioned, I feel much of what you have to say. My music blog is shared with my brother who is just as interested in music as I am.
As stages of life pass me by, I know I will always have a passion for music just as you do. This summer has been hard on me too and I have been distracted with a busy schedule, but one thing that always fuels me is the motivation of my counterpart on my website and the passion we both share for music.
Without going on too much of a tangent here - yes, you need a life balance; something which is very hard to find. I feel this is something that haunts every blogger out there. Where do you stop? When have you put in enough work for the week?
I have always enjoyed visiting your site, seeing the unique pictures and reading your personal stories and feelings in your blog. I do hope you keep it up and hope that even if you do ween off your frequency of posting, that you always keep that great sense of musical taste you have!
August 25th, 2009 at 8:27 pm
Hi Linda, I’m sorry I’m so late commenting but it takes me a while to make the rounds. As a reader I will tell you that when I like a blog it doesn’t matter to me how often or regularly the writer posts. I will keep checking in no matter what.
I hope find a way to make it work for you because I like your writing and your enthusiasm for music.
August 26th, 2009 at 6:36 pm
Thanks again, everyone. It is wonderful to get this feedback from all of you!
September 1st, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Hi linda,
Just back from family holidays on the coast and interior of BC— very nice.
Saw your comments from awhile back about blogging and how it can kindof takes over and I wanted to tell you how much I’ve enjoyed your efforts over the last few years. (Alas, W/O subscribing) Anyway, I’ve learned a whole bunch of new things and listened to a wack of new bands because of the blog (I have even purchased some of their music!).
You kindof converted me to these music blogs and like you, I’m amazed by sites like Mars Needs Guitars and the people who create them. (Last year I tried a political blog here in Canada. It wasn’t very popular and was tons of work.)
Anyway, thanks. (BTW, one of my my favorite recent posts was on Morrissey live — great reporting and very funny!)
September 8th, 2009 at 2:45 pm